HOW TO BE POPE ING: What to Do and Where to Go Once You're in the Vatican

Congratulations, your Holiness, you've just been ordained Pope. You're moving into the Vatican, you're getting fitted for your vestments and your cardinals and millions of faithful followers all over the world are awaiting your ascendance to the papacy. So what do you do on your first day as the supreme head of the Roman Catholic Church? Since the dawn of the Church, the pope's rituals and responsibilities have been shrouded in secrecy. Now, in this essential illustrated manual, you'll learn the day-to-day routines and sacred rites that have been handed down from pope to pope, from St. Peter through John Paul II. This handbook contains information on all the earthly and unearthly concerns that a pontiff must deal with, from knowing what to wear under your robes to how to properly divide 40,000 communion wafers. Maps, diagrams and illustrations reveal the inner workings of Vatican City, the Church hierarchy, the papal vehicles - including the infamous Popemobile - and the vast security and support network that help keep the pope in the pink. Step-by-step instructions will instruct you on how to handle everyday occasions and special ceremonies with dignity and humility, while sidebars offer tips on avoiding predecessors' mistakes that might get you thrown to the lions. You definitely don't want to run the Holy See without first consulting this indispensable manual. -How many outfits do you have? -A Latin Primer -Getting to know the Vatican City -How do you conduct Mass? -Know your languages -Public Speaking tips in front of 1,000,000 people -Kissing, Being Kissed protocol -Hierarchy Flowchart -Name the cardinals! -Swiss guards are your friends -Appointing Cardinals -Writing Encyclicals -Calling The Popemobile -Papal Security: What to do during an assassination attempt -Kissing the ground: practice tips -Know your world leaders and their greetings -What's with the feet? -Communion for 10,000 -The Papal Villa, a Godsend (in Alban Hills) -Papal movie collection? -Papal pets? -Sports: rooting interest? -On Conclaves

Piers Marchant is a journalist and editor who has published travel guides with Fodors and Not for Tourists. Fittingly, he lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the City of Brotherly.