Beeton's book of anecdote, wit, and humour; being a collection of wise and witty things in prose and verse together with a selection of curious epitaphs - Softcover

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1864 Excerpt: ...friend, in a very knowing manner, " Pray, did you ever see a cat-fish?" "No," was the response, "but I've seen a rope-walk." A POLITICAL FELONY. KING WILLIAM III. took this motto' for his stage-coach in Ireland: ram rapni, sed recipi (I did not steal it, but received it), alluding to his being called to the' throne by the people. This was reported to Swift by one of the court emissaries, who said to the dean, "What do you think the Prince of Orange has chosen for his motto?" "Dutch cheese" said Swift. "No," rejoined the gentleman, "but non rapni, sed recipi." "Aye," said the dean, "but it is an old saying and a true one, the receiver is as bad as the thief" ON THE DEATH OP QUEEN CHARLOTTE. THE death of the Queen has caused great perturbation; We must mourn by command, throughout the whole nation; The theatres closed, the poor actors forlorn Must starve: other subjects can eat while they mourn. What follows is plain;--'tis believed in all corners The mourners are actors, the actors are mourners.--C. Mathews. THE DOG TAX. BROWN drops in. Brown is said to be the toady of Jones. The appearance of the latter is a proof that the former is in the passage. When Jones has the influenza, Brown dutifully catches cold in the head. Douglas Jej-rold remarked to Brown, " Have you heard the rumour that's flying about town?" "No." "Well, they say that Jones pays the dog-tax for you." A WIDE-AWAKE MINISTER. LORD NORTH'S good humour and readiness were of admirable service to him when the invectives of his opponents would have discomfited a graver minister. He frequently indulged in a real or seeming slumber. On one occasion, an opposition debater, supposing ...